Change.

I haven't written here for so long I had kinda forgotten about it. Things change and I don't really like it when things do. What if I don't like it? I have changed, and I hope it is for the better. I didn't choose my changing, it was put on me and that was that. I have moved into a new/old home. I have, for the very first time in my life, chosen paint. Every color. And it is color. I didn't want Navajo or Arizona white, I wanted clean colors. My favorites are pink and purple, and I thought about those colors, but the ones I ended up with are not what I thought I would. A pale grey with a purple tinge. Aqua. Deep aqua. Cobalt. Pure white. Magenta. Green. I love it and feel good about it. I have discovered I have never been invested in any of the houses I've lived in. Not ever my choice. I had no opinion because I wasn't good "at that kind of things". I did this with input from friends, but the actual choices were mine. I LOVE my colors and my house.
I took every door off of every kitchen cabinet. I painted inside and out. I choose knobs, I put stuff where I wanted. I spackled hundreds of holes in walls, from little to big. I repaired two window sills. I've painted WAY too much trim. I learned you have to make sure the edge on painting tape is pressed firm or you get bleeding. I learned that paint doesn't have to be perfect to be attractive....it IS a faux finish :). I learned why there are so many sizes and kinds of screwdrivers. What I've learned most of all is that I can do things, and feel good about what I did, even if it isn't perfect, or what someone else could have done better. I didn't wait for someone to do it, I asked for help in learning HOW (Thanks guys at Lowe's ) and found that they were eager to help me, and not once did I feel stupid or inadequate. I think I have more confidence in myself, that I CAN do it, and if I don't like it, it can be redone. I also know I WILL NOT tackle the electric problems, because I don't want to die. I will, however, pay attention and ask questions.
A lot of changes, most of them fairly small. Some huge. The biggest thing is that I am finding me again, and that is an exciting change. I really want to be the person that He intends for me to be. I know that the changes made, and the changes to come, will be to my benefit, and His glory. I still don't like change. Hurts. Excites. Blesses. Becomes real.