Okay

Okay, I think I am going to be okay, maybe, someday. With some wise help I have figured out what my main problem with my meltdown last week was. Grief. The death of a relationship, and my reaction to it. The family that lives here in my town, their rejection of me, I have dealt with. It is, and that is the way it has to be. Their choice. Their yard. My heart had hopes that Deana was different, and even though she hadn't contacted me, had dissed me to my son, I wanted things to be different. When she came to town, didn't contact me, that killed my hopes, and i had to deal with a whole new hurt. Denial of my heart to accept it turned to anger, to grief, to depression, to sadness. Eventually it will be simple acceptance, with the hope that someday? well only He knows the answer to that. I have to say that figuring out the reason does not help with the hurt. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Hope is everything.